i'm really quite lucky

i know who i want to be and where i want to go in life

not the big descisions like my job or soulmate

but the little things

like what i want to do in my gap year, people i want to stay in contact with, the furniture i want in my house, the hobbies i want to take up, the hobbies i want to keep,the colour i am going to paint my room and which pets i want.

although these things may not seem as important as the big things it's the little things which make up a whole and although they may be small but they are what make the big things big.

sometimes i feel tempted to write these little things down to ensure i don't forget them. but i try and take a deep breath and tell myself that these descisions are a part of me and if i forget them, maybe that was meant to happen. i tell myself to take things as they come.

earlier on, i didn't believe year 9 was the year things happened. i thought it was rather more year 8. but i didn't quite understand this concept. i was thinking more along the lines of drugs, relationships and alcohol. little did i know that the things we were bound to find out were things which were bigger than that. things more along the lines of your true friends, the path you want to follow, the person you want to be.

"i guess i'm lucky, i smile a lot. it's just sometimes i wish for more than i've got."